Mostly you react to an event or a person’s behaviour towards you.
Something happens that you don’t like, you get angry or upset. Perhaps you shout at them or argue that your point of view is the correct one.
That’s reacting. You have been triggered. Bullies do this relentlessly; until you choose to respond differently to their taunts. Once you learn to pause, take a breath and make a different response, or not respond at all; the bully often goes away and finds another victim to pick on. They did not ‘trigger’ you that time. It takes practice and discipline to change your default way of being to one that is more helpful and empowering.
What you learn is that you have choices. You learn that reacting unconsciously has not served you particularly well. Once you have realised this, and experienced better outcomes you discover that you are not helpless, hopeless and weak.
Standing in your power has enormous benefit to your well being.
Hale Dwoskin [The Sedona Method] asks some helpful questions in this regard.
Just for now could I let it go?
To me “when” takes you beyond not doing anything at all. Instead you commit to taking action.
Not much happens in life until you learn to act, to do.
That’s where a Life Coach can be very helpful in helping you overcome seemingly impossible situations. You are held accountable as you move away from what you don’t want toward that which you do want. And you get to where you want to be, one small step at a time.
As Lao Tzu said: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”
This is a useful way to look at your own personal development. “How can I get better at – your choice.?” Make a decision as to what it is you want to improve or have and brainstorm ideas. From your list of ideas you select those that will be the most useful or helpful. Prioritise them and take action. When you complete item 1 on your list; move on to the next item. As your list diminishes, your sense of accomplishment increases. Soon what seemed daunting, seemingly impossible, is now seen as being within your grasp. And that’s how you grow into something bigger than you were before.
A word of caution: The journey never ends. It does not end when you have “arrived” at the desired destination – your goal. If you have “arrived”, then the question remains “what next?” Maintain trajectory, your own true path.
Keep growing, maintain momentum on your personal development mission. The opposite of growth is you know what; and that is not a desirable place to be!